I'm really into asian looking animals
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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