Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
its liver damage thursday
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
