Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
accomplished twins. life is a go
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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