it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
