a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize
