I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Floor bacon is actually really good
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
