mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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