u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
We don't watch enough power rangers
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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