ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Randomize
