I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
