sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
