Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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