his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
