plz talk dirty to me
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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