I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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