no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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