Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i can't believe i had my finger in that
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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