He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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