Is it normal to miss your booty call?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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