She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
