She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
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