Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize