Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
