I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
