I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
