evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
