i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Randomize
