I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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