clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
