thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
If its not for food we ain't going out.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
