It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
