unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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