More tranny stories later!
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
