I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
