Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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