yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
i need to put some appletini on your dick
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
