Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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