I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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