you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
