A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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