im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
