Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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