so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Life is so much better after having sex.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
