Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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