The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
