great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
