I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize