i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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