I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
There's always time for handjobs
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize