i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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