I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
