I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
