i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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