Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
