All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I would fuck him just for his dog
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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