You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I will be naked everywhere
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Randomize
