guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
