she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
