Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
