Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
PANTIES FOUND
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
