Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
