Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
