WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
