wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
