Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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