That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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